When chaos hits us straight on, it’s a reminder to take a look at what’s brewing within. To see what’s shaking up inside our hearts and our minds. Usually it means change is upon us, that we’re transitioning, there are lessons to be learned, and slowing down is required to let the lessons rise.
I’m not going to lie and say it’s comfortable to acknowledge change … let alone invite it in. It’s prickly and gives you night sweats. Makes you feel unfocused and distorted. You could ignore it if you wanted. Pretend you’re not confused and don’t notice the shifts. Eventually, it will just make louder noises though, and show up in larger ways; perhaps your health becomes affected … your relationships, your job.
The thing is – you’re learning. When you’re taken by surprise, when you feel out of sorts, you’re learning about what scares you, what you really want, what you’ve been missing and not giving yourself for a long time, and how – maybe – you’ve changed.
As women, it’s easy to put others’ needs in front of our own. Many men do this, too, in their own way. You’re taking care of everyone else, making sure each person is happy and get what they need, but at some point, neglect the one standing alongside you the whole time: You. After awhile, you get the message – clearly – that it’s time for stillness, to adjust to change, to start taking care of yourself.
I know it’s hard – most of us have been there. You feel confused and conflicted. Things don’t make a lot of sense. Just remember to go gentle on yourself and know that despite how uncomfortable things are now, they won’t stay that way … but you have to pay attention.
During times of confusion, we need an anchor to ground us, to let us rest quietly up on the waters for awhile. To gently float upon movement, knowing we will not drift away, but that we are secured and just need a rest.
It’s OK to get tired. It’s OK to make yourself a priority, too, and allow yourself to be silent. Let your busy mind slow down and simply enjoy the water, soft and lulling. Just breathe so that you can remember what it is you need and start giving it back to yourself. Maybe it’s a class where you can express your creativity. Something physical, like yoga or belly dancing or weight lifting. Whatever it is that’s calling to you, take the time and find it. It’s about being true to yourself, finding your way back to you.
We get so busy that it’s not difficult to disconnect with ourselves. Just stop. Put that anchor down ... even if you have a lot to do. You’ll always have a lot to do.
Take a day off. Shut your door. Lock it. Languidly soak in a bath. Get a hotel room. Drive to the mountains. Swim in the ocean. Walk through a field. Go realign. It’s fine. It will be fine. It will be OK. You will be OK.
When you’re calm, when those waters aren’t so chaotic, when you no longer feel so scared, then pull that anchor up. Maybe you turn your boat in a slightly different direction – or maybe the opposite way. It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s where you know you need to go. Then set off. Realigned. Renewed. Knowing what it is you need. And sail on.